“These boots are made for walkin’”
Lee Hazlewood, as recorded by Nancy Sinatra
I try not to offend anyone. Doesn’t make me feel good, and I’m certain it doesn’t make the other person feel good, so I see no value in it.
But Ladonna is, for some reason, offended by my little black boots. The feeling is not mutual — they have never offered any opinion of Ladonna whatsoever. But she has had it in for my boots for well over a year.
Ladonna: You need some new boots.
me: Why? These are fine.
Ladonna: Because you should have several pairs of nice boots.
me: I only have one pair of feets.
My boots have been an ongoing concern of Ladonna’s. I have no idea why. I’m a pretty practical person. Fashion is not high on my list of priorities. But I think these boots are fairly fashionable — they are black leather, with ruching. In case you are not familiar with the term, ruching is intentional wrinkles, and it is in fashion. Besides, these boots are very comfortable and durable, easy to put on, and they make my feet feel like they are home.
Once in a while, Ladonna tries a different gambit.
Ladonna: We should buy you some new boots.
me: These are fine.
Ladonna: I know they are your favorites, but if you wear them all the time, they will wear out. If you wear others, these will last longer.
me: Nice try.
Once in a while, the shoe is on the other foot and I’m the one trying a different tack. I started wearing my big clunky hiking boots with big wool socks. She loved them.
me: I’m going to wear these boots every time you see me until you beg me to wear my little black boots.
Ladonna: That will never happen.
She is obsessed. We hadn’t spoken for several days. She called to ask for my honest feedback having to do with Bella and business. We discussed it at length, and she got what she asked for.
Ladonna: Thank you for being honest with me. I really value your opinion.
me: No problem.
Ladonna: Does this work both ways? Like, can I give you my honest opinion about things and you won’t be offended?
me: Of course!
Ladonna: You really need to get a new pair of boots.
I appreciate everything about Ladonna. She only appreciates me from the ankles up.
I have yet to offer her any fashion advice.
