Snowbirds are looking for a fresh start in warmer and friendlier climates
If you are lucky enough to have been born and raised in the South, or if you relocated south of the Mason-Dixon line to become a permanent resident years ago, you may be slightly annoyed when you see those pesky critters known as snowbirds. Each New Year, they migrate from the North to spend time where it is warm and sunny. They have most likely endured freezing temperatures and snow drifts during the holidays and now seek a place to nestle on a beach or golf course. They don’t realize that they are robbing you of your favorite tee time or parking spot at church. They are oblivious to the noise levels that increase as they come in droves. Worst of all, they have a weird accent.
If your neighbors are snowbirds, they may rent for a couple months, or they may have purchased a home that sits empty for half the year. When they are not in residence, their yard becomes a mess of weeds and the newspapers pile up. They may even be so bold as to ask you to pick up their mail or water their flowers while they are away. Bless their little hearts!
You may have noticed there is a growing number of cars with Ohio license plates in South Carolina in the winter. That is because the fastest way out of the cold and snowy climate is a straight shot down Interstate 77 from Cleveland, Ohio, to Columbia, South Carolina. If Buckeyes gets an early start, they can be in their Southern home by dinner time. Y’all made it too easy to get here.
Just when you find yourself getting accustomed to your Yankee neighbors, or even becoming friends, they pack up and head back to New York, Pennsylvania, and that dreadful Ohio. Suddenly you have to find a new golf partner and someone else to have drinks with on the veranda. But in the spirit of charity, take pity on these creatures, for they have many hardships in their annual sojourn.
1. There is considerable expense in owning two homes.
Property tax is suddenly doubled or tripled in some counties if the home is not the permanent residence. Keeping a wife down South as a full time resident does not work! Insurance costs in a state that has hurricanes and floods amount to more than imagined. Remembering to pay the utilities when they are not being used can be challenging for some. Finding someone reliable to mow the lawn in the summer is very difficult.
2. The issue of holding mail or having it forwarded used to be easier.
Now it can be held for only a month at a time, and then all the mailers and advertisements are crammed into the shoebox size mailbox to be pried out upon return. Sweet friends are greatly appreciated when they offer to gather the mail and papers and stash them in the garage.
3. A great concern is that nature seems to know when a house is empty; it will move in and take over.
Those palmetto bugs blend in with the spots on the heartwood pine floors. When one spot moves, it is enough to make a Northern gal yell “Roach!” and start stomping on all the other spots to make sure they don’t move too. Mice, ants, spiders, squirrels, anoles, and bats all find a way in. They compromise the food supply and leave trails of droppings that take days to scrub away. They hide in the eaves and attic, where they nest and chew on the woodwork and the wiring.
4. Building new friendships across cultural barriers must be handled delicately.
Even more difficult is finding new doctors who accept the snowbirds’ insurance carrier and share information with the primary doctors up North. Searching for someone who cuts hair the way they like may take several trials as well. On the plus side, splitting time between two church families can be enlightening, and the Bible Belt has a more enthusiastic approach than many Northern churches.
5. Most baffling is choosing what clothing to take and what to leave behind.
“Honey, have you seen my favorite sneakers? And my lucky golf shirt?” Honey replies, “You must have left them down South.” Pretty soon, they can’t remember which home has all the necessaries, so they buy double of everything.
6. It is never clear when best to return North.
Invariably, if a snowbird heads back in the spring, another snowstorm hits just to taunt them. They never really want to leave the South until they realize that 90° weather and 100% humidity is the norm all summer long.
7. Driving either way can be treacherous in the mountains or through the rain that comes in torrents.
It seems the drive gets longer each time, but that may be because the number of necessary bathroom breaks increases with age.
Does this convince you that the snowbirds need love and care, or do you conclude that their lifestyle is extravagant and foolish? Their goal is to live like all y’all do eventually. If only their children lived in the same state, they could settle down and learn to assimilate.
