Ma Vie En Rose by Buck Jones
She doesn’t come into our little café but once a week, but when she does, oh my. It’s her smile that grabs your heart, and as she walks over to give you the obligatory bisous greeting of a kiss on each cheek, the conversation is quick and easy. Long retired from being a professor at one of the local universities on the Left Bank of Paris, she and her boyfriend (a retired diplomat) sit at their favorite table and they order a coupe of champagne each. That’s what they always order, and for the next hour or so, they canoodle. She leans into him, he caresses her, and she talks, telling him about her day, and they laugh. Sometimes when I spy them, I catch a passionate kiss. They live each moment to the fullest, and everyone who works at the café refers to them as “the champagne couple.”
To some they might appear to be a pair of elderly seniors enjoying an afternoon together, but the truth about “the champagne couple” is that they embody the spirit of the French way of life, the joie de vivre that one sees daily here in Paris.
Over the course of my years here, I’ve discerned certain characteristics that, when fitted together, put one’s life on a different trajectory than elsewhere. Here are the five basic tenets to living a Paris lifestyle, whether you are in South Carolina or somewhere else in the world.
1. Embrace beauty.
Yes, Paris is quite possibly the most beautiful city in the world. Its Haussmannian architecture, iconic monuments, and elaborate gardens are all world-renowned. So it is relatively easy to be inspired here when stepping out to walk the dog or go to the market — there is beauty anywhere. Aiken is blessed with such splendid jewels as well. Look around where you live in your own home, maybe there is a handmade vase that a dear friend made on her potter’s wheel or a wooden shelf your husband spent hours working on with his saw and lathe. Today’s hipsters would call both of these examples “artisanal,” and such ordinary objects can bring beauty to one’s life. Psychologists have long noted that when patients focus on the beauty around us, the effect is to flood the brain with dopamine, and our mindset changes to the positive.
2. Enjoy life.
If there is one thing that Parisians obsess about, it is planning their next vacation. They might have barely touched down at Orly airport with traces of sunscreen still lingering on their tanned arms when they will undoubtedly begin thinking about their next great adventure. The French love to travel, and I was amazed at how many of them have been to such exotic and isolated corners of the world as Cambodia or Patagonia. But here’s the thing — while they might be constantly preparing for that next trip, they do it while simultaneously enjoying today. They sit with friends at a sidewalk café, with a newly purchased Lonely Planet guidebook, chatting and highlighting places they want to discover together. These little after work apéros between friends are a nearly daily occurrence — a round of drinks with a shared plate of cheeses or deli meats, the quintessentially Parisian activity. Instead of going straight home from work (or school), everyone goes to his or her favorite local café with friends, and whether it is a coupe of champagne or a draught beer, life is made happier.
3. Eat slowly and sanely.
It’s difficult to explain, because to the uninitiated, it can seem contradictory. For example, a few years ago the Mireille Guiliano memoir French Women Don’t Get Fat created a sensation, followed by scholarly discussion of “The French Paradox” — how the French stay thin and healthy, with a low incidence of coronary heart disease, despite their diet high in saturated fats. But it is true! Whether because their diet is heavily influenced by the Mediterranean (tomatoes, seafood, rice) or has regular infusions of red wine (thanks, apéro!) or just because people walk more here, one sees far less obesity in Paris. The land of a thousand cheeses and pastries and the daily crusty baguette is also the home of the nearly ubiquitous thin Parisian. The key is that here in Paris, the portions are small (the size of your fist), and people linger over their meals, talking, listening, laughing, and savoring the flavors, the sauce, the delicate aromas. Lunch lasts an hour, and dinner even longer.
4. Know yourself and add an “!”.
It is a guilty pleasure of mine to follow certain lifestyle influencers on Instagram, men and women who have a distinctive style that is in perfect confluence with their individual personalities. Each one has a uniqueness he or she brings to the posts — a casual chic and unfiltered aesthetic — unlike the American tendency to over-produce with professional cameras and Photoshop. If you’re curious about what I’m talking about, check out “Paris Girl / Guy Lifestyle” on Instagram. One guy I follow has an incredible talent in finding vintage clothing and accessories to wear — Italian sport shirts from the 1960s, classic sunglasses and watches … In the case of my champagne couple, the woman writes poetry, and every time she comes in she’ll have a little poem written on a sheet of paper to share with me. Adorable. Accentuating one’s personality by highlighting what one’s passions are makes standing out in the midst of others a key to embracing life.
5. Invest in friendship.
Parisian apartments are tiny. And by tiny, I mean teeny tiny. It’s not that we wouldn’t love to have larger homes, but real estate is prohibitively expensive, so instead of “square meters” we invest in friends. Besides the aforementioned apéros, Parisians spend the weekend with friends in the park, riding bikes along the river, or going to exhibitions at museums. Staying inside and watching television is not something one does here. Even for big sporting matches one flocks to the corner bar to watch with dozens, even hundreds spilling out into the street, cheering on the local favorite team. Life is spent with others, in an endless impromptu parade of birthdays, going away parties, “first nice day of spring” outings, and “back from vacation” dinners at cafés.
So shake up your life and try something new. Call up a friend and head over to “La Parisienne” in downtown Aiken, have a croissant and a glass of wine, share some poetry, and take a walk to Hopelands Gardens. Ohlala ma chéri, la vie est belle!
