All The Little Foxes

It made me think of the wasted opportunities that are lost to little foxes of “doubt” — about stories never written, journeys never taken, loves never known, truths never told — because of the little foxes of doubt nibbling at the edges of our confidence and courage.


“Little foxes,” she said.

My friend and I were walking with dogs. It was early morning, late autumn. We were discussing everything and nothing. And we were not walking too near to each other, which somehow prohibits the natural sharing of confidences. But we had been talking about something — I can’t remember exactly what — that concerned small worries, the kind that keep you awake at night and prevent you from truly enjoying a day of doing nothing. And that’s when she said: “Little foxes.”

It’s the little foxes that eat the tender grapes in the garden, she elaborated. The little foxes that can ruin the garden. It was a reference from the Bible, she said.

Although I didn’t remember the Biblical passage itself, I did recall the Lillian Hellman play by that name. And her metaphorical use of “little foxes” to represent greed, and to example the harm done by those who simply look on, silently, as the garden is eaten away.

It made me think of the wasted opportunities that are lost to little foxes of “doubt” — about stories never written, journeys never taken, loves never known, truths never told — because of the little foxes of doubt nibbling at the edges of our confidence and courage.

I suspect little foxes can take the form of “guilt” as well — the need to perform tasky little duties we feel we must get through before we allow ourselves to reach out for something bigger, or more satisfying, or more personally rewarding. Eat the vegetables before the dessert. Practice the scales before playing the song. Read the emails before reading the book. Rake the leaves in the front yard before scrunching through the wild ones on a proper walk in the woods.

I also suspect there are little foxes of “fear” that can disrupt any number of new gardens of beginnings. Even now, when our need for new beginnings has perhaps never been greater and more compelling and more possible. And I suspect that the greatest of these fears is the one of letting go. Letting go of the known, the familiar, the comfortable, the safe.

Later that day I raked the leaves from my front lawn, fully appreciating the irony of it, with the sound of the rake itself repeating the words “foxes, foxes, foxes” as the tines scraped across the ground. And I looked up from beneath the large maple tree under which I had been raking, and I noticed that only the top half of the tree had released its leaves. The bottom half was still clinging to its red coating of familiar fall beauty. Only the part with the most new growth, the arms outstretched for a new spring yet to come, had let go of its old leaves. And I remembered that foxes, too, are born mostly in the spring and summer — but venture out on their own, beginning their own true lives, only in the autumn — just as the forest leaves are released from the trees.

“Little foxes,” she had said. And I felt them nipping at my consciousness. And so I leaned the rake against the base of the tree and gathered up the dog for a proper walk in the woods. And we scrunched through the wild, fallen leaves, and I thought about beginning a new book and beginning a new garden, and about releasing all the little foxes.

© Marti Healy 2020, Used with Permission.

Picture of Marti Healy

Marti Healy

Marti Healy is a writer living in Aiken with dog Quincy and cat Tuppence.  She was a professional copywriter for longer than 35 years, and is a columnist, book author, and popular speaker, whose work has received national recognition and awards.
Picture of Marti Healy

Marti Healy

Marti Healy is a writer living in Aiken with dog Quincy and cat Tuppence.  She was a professional copywriter for longer than 35 years, and is a columnist, book author, and popular speaker, whose work has received national recognition and awards.

In the know

Related Stories

How to Say the Hard Things | Palmetto Bella

How to Say the Hard Things

Have you ever been in a situation where you are not sure how to say what needs to be said? Sometimes it’s sympathy for the loss of a loved one or an expression of sadness for an illness or unfortunate occurrence. We know the words, of course, but are they the right ones? Are they the words we would want to hear? Experts say there is no one correct way to express feelings of comfort or sadness, but it is important to convey our good intentions and concern. Many of us do this with a phone call. Finding the right words can be difficult. We want to comfort without intruding.

Read More »
Letter From the Editor | Palmetto Bella

Letter From the Editor

The dialogue took place in church, in late August 2019, just before the service began. Ladonna and I had become closer friends in the month before, and she seemed a bit stressed. me: “Everything OK?” Ladonna: “No, we’re behind on Bella and I’m up against the deadline.” me: “How can I help?” Ladonna: “What can you do?” me: “I’m a trained proof reader.” Ladonna: “Can you be at the studio at 6?” me: “Yup.” And then the music started. So for 18 months I have edited all of the content in Bella. I was fortunate to be raised by parents who were meticulous in their use of the English language.

Read More »
Be Lucky | Palmetto Bella

Be Lucky

“If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.” John Irving March is The Luck Issue! I always thought of March as a lucky month. It the month of spring’s arrival and rebirth, a week’s vacation for spring break that almost always includes travel, horse racing and hats, St. Patrick’s Day, and the occasional Easter, and it is the month in which I was born. Lots of things to celebrate! This month we completed an entire year of surviving a pandemic. So much has changed, and I feel extremely lucky that Bella and I have both survived

Read More »
Don’t Get It Twisted | Untwist the Love | Palmetto Bella

Don’t Get It Twisted | Untwist the Love

Let’s not get it twisted. When it comes to matters of the heart, one word tells the story — that word is love. If you are living in this world you have experienced acts of kindness and compassion, butterflies in your tummy, tears in your eyes, and maybe something that feels like a massive heart attack, but not entirely — these characteristics can be feelings associated with love. Some people say, “I had love in my life” or “I am too young to know what love is” or “I was in love once.” Guess what? Love doesn’t have an age limit! Love never leaves us! Love never dies! Love lasts

Read More »