Horsemanship vs. Humanship

We are going to take a break this month from equine nutrition and focus on something that requires you to look at yourself in the mirror. Of course I have to add something equine. 2020 has definitely been a year to remember, or not to remember. Politics, religion, job losses, COVID-19, masking up everywhere, and losing freedoms that we are all so used to enjoying.

How would you really know whether the person you happen to meet lost a loved one recently, is going through a divorce, just had an argument with his or her spouse, lost a job, etc.? The other person may be a bit short with you. He or she may just be in a very different place in life that you are not aware of. Same with a horse. This is another place where horsemanship and humanship connect.

Horsemanship? Humanship? Dogmanship? Stockmanship? They all intersect.

I come into contact with many horse owners, all different disciplines. Wherever there are horses, there are dogs. And some cattle to round it out. I had to reflect on how I manage employees, how I treat other folks, how I work with my horses and dogs. Instead of “breaking” horses, I “gentle” them. I apply pressure, and then release pressure when the expectation is achieved. I watch for the change in attitude when the understanding is understood by both. What it comes down to is that I am treating humans with the principles of true horsemanship. I make sure that my expectations are clear, but not forced. I do not get angry if my horse does not understand my expectation, since it is my job to be clear and concise about what that expectation is. If it is not understood, chances are it is my fault and I must find a way that we can both understand. Sure, there are still “horsemen” out there who are forceful, have the hands of a butcher, and train with fear as the main tool in their toolbox. It is possible that force is all some folks know. But I do not degrade them. I try to show them a better way by letting my horse do the talking.

I think that we do not always extend the patience and understanding to humans that we extend to our animals. Our animals are our safe space, our passion, our lifestyles, and our personal therapists. We can really learn from our animals. Imagine a world where everyone is happy to see you no matter who they may be. Now more than ever you need to have patience, be fair, be kind, and be more understanding than you’ve ever been.

In the last few months I have visited retail stores, restaurants, feed stores, etc. I’ve witnessed some rather “interesting” human behavior. When I say interesting, I am talking about embarrassing human behavior. Especially on certain social media sites. I have to wonder who is really behind the keyboard. I think we all know what I’m talking about. Granted, these days have been stressful for most folks, but aren’t these the days that we need to be kind to each other? Take a moment, take a deep breath, and give the benefit of the doubt. Do we really know what the other person is going through at that moment? Let’s give each other a little space, both literally and figuratively. Maybe a very heart felt “hello” would be more welcome than the chastising you may receive for not noticing the arrows at the grocery store. All has not been negative though — I’ve seen some of the kindest acts as well. That has been rather heartwarming.

It’s also all in the timing. Timing is definitely everything. It’s how I met my wife! Fifteen minutes one way or another, my life would be very different. Here is another example of horsemanship and humanship. If you want your child to take out the trash, would it be best to ask when they are watching a movie, reading a book, or walking by the trash can? I’d bet that you would get a better result if you ask when they are close by the trash can. Same with a horse. You will get a better result if you ask when the horse is balanced, collected, and set up for success. What would happen if we treated people this way? If we want better results, we need to brush up on our timing.

Just as important, we need to slow our hands while riding. Quick hands reduce feel. A horse will learn to brace if we have quick hands. With humans, we need to slow down our tongues. Think before we speak. Pause before we answer too quickly with what might be the wrong answer. Horsemanship and humanship — it’s a thing.

I’ll leave you with this. We were out shopping the other day and saw one of those decorative sayings that you hang on your wall. It said, “BE NICE OR GO HOME.” I should have bought it and carried it around everywhere. It is now my motto!!!

Be Kind. Before you press “post” on Facebook, pause for a moment and think about whether it’s really that important. Leave the drama on your keyboard.

Adios for now!

Picture of John Toli

John Toli

John has a lifelong relationship with horses. Well known in the equine industry, he has balanced his time training, instructing, judging, and teaching equine nutrition. John has worked for a nationally recognized feed company as well as serving as consultant to others. Prior to The Feed Geek, he managed New England Performance Nutrition, another equine nutrition consulting business. His guiding principle is a pure belief in the importance of balanced equine nutrition in regards to equine health and performance. John’s schooling included Texas A&M, Oregon State University, Kansas State, Purina Mills Equine Research Farm, and on-going equine nutrition based education. He has also spoken at conferences at Tufts University as well as in veterinary practices. John now owns The Feed Geek, Equine Nutrition Consulting. For more information, feel free to call him at 603.520.3875, email [email protected], or visit The Feed Geek on Facebook.
Picture of John Toli

John Toli

John has a lifelong relationship with horses. Well known in the equine industry, he has balanced his time training, instructing, judging, and teaching equine nutrition. John has worked for a nationally recognized feed company as well as serving as consultant to others. Prior to The Feed Geek, he managed New England Performance Nutrition, another equine nutrition consulting business. His guiding principle is a pure belief in the importance of balanced equine nutrition in regards to equine health and performance. John’s schooling included Texas A&M, Oregon State University, Kansas State, Purina Mills Equine Research Farm, and on-going equine nutrition based education. He has also spoken at conferences at Tufts University as well as in veterinary practices. John now owns The Feed Geek, Equine Nutrition Consulting. For more information, feel free to call him at 603.520.3875, email [email protected], or visit The Feed Geek on Facebook.

In the know

Related Stories

Aiken’s Character Initiative Enthusiasm | Aiken Bella Magazine

Aiken’s Character Initiative Enthusiasm

The Aiken Characteristic of the month for March is Enthusiasm. Google defines enthusiasm as an intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval. It is a feeling of energetic interest in a particular subject or activity and a desire to be involved in it. It means having an active and motivated attitude instead of a passive one. Who chooses your attitude? Being enthusiastic is a choice, and your enthusiasm can motivate others to achieve their goals and objectives. I think enthusiasm is good for health and can add to the quality of life. Being enthusiastic about yourself, even about your negative experiences, obstacles, struggles, and encounters, can change the vibration and

Read More »
Bella Fella | Reboot: A Mike Thomas Story | Aiken Bella Magazine

Bella Fella | Reboot: A Mike Thomas Story

The man enters the theater. Alone. Just like always. Soles smack on the sticky floor. Heavy ghosts of buttered popcorn haunt the aisles. He sits in the back corner. Just like always. It takes a certain moxie to go the movies alone. And our guy is chock-full of it. The theater is his place to be alone. It is his sanctuary — his refuge. In the dark of the theater, he is anonymous. The lights dim, and the first preview begins. The first image we see is a young man in a suit and tie. He’s wearing a name tag for a company called Global Spectrum. He’s meeting with another

Read More »
Aiken’s Character Initiative | Tolerance | Aiken Bella Magazine

Aiken’s Character Initiative | Tolerance

The Aiken Characteristic of the Month for February is tolerance. What is tolerance? Why is important? Why would a person want to exhibit tolerance in his or her actions? Tolerance is the ability or willingness to accept opinions or behaviors that are different from your own and that you may not necessarily like or agree. Why is it important? There is no one person who is 100% exactly like anyone else. We all live our lives through our own eyes, and no one else has witnessed life through our eyes. We all have different perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, habits, and experiences. We are all connected, and we can relate and share

Read More »
Celebrate Love | The History and Traditions of Valentine’s Day | Aiken Bella Magazine

Celebrate Love | The History and Traditions of Valentine’s Day

Allow me to be among the many (hopefully for you it’s many) to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day. For those of you who have great Valentine traditions in place, and look forward positively to celebrating the day with that special someone — CONGRATULATIONS! Given the popularity of the day, you are in the vast majority. For those that haven’t enjoyed the same level of long-term celebration on that day, allow me to shed some light on the challenges we face and the history of how those challenges have evolved. (Note, facts of history are always open to subjective interpretation. Some of those liberties have been exercised by the author.)

Read More »