There is a scene in the 1981 Burt Reynolds movie Paternity in which he talks about watching a certain kid ride a bike along the top of a fence without ever falling. When will he fall? When he learns about gravity, and when some schmuck tells him he can’t ride on top of the fence without falling. I was only 11 when this movie came out, but I remember being struck by the truth of that statement even then.
One of my favorite books discusses the domestication of humans, how we usher children into adulthood by teaching them all the things they cannot do, should not do, as adults. I have always been fascinated by the fact that we often tell children they can “do anything they want to do” but at some unspoken age we, for the most part, start to convince them that their dreams are unrealistic, that they must think more sensibly or they will never “make it” in this world.
The cover image of Aiken Bella Magazine is one of my most favorite images. To me, the image completely captures the essence of youth and summer. I had come to the falls that morning to practice some long exposure photography. At some point the two young women left the “marked path” and climbed out onto the log. They spent the morning laughing and trying to do handstands. I was struck by the fact that they were so unconcerned about whether they were “allowed” to be out there, or how they looked, or really any of the things that hold us “adults” back. I am not sure they ever actually succeeded in doing a handstand, but they had the best time as they tried and failed and laughed about it. I watched them and smiled until, well, until it was creepy for a man my age to be watching them and smiling. The scene filled me with joy and hope. But it also filled me with jealousy and pain at the thought of all the time I waste playing the role of adult.
This month’s issue focuses on youth and summer. For me, summer is a time when we seem to let children run just a bit more wild. We let them run more, laugh more, be a bit less tethered by our adult ways and rules. We seem to lighten our grip and let the leash out a bit more. We seem to spend less time trying to domesticate them and we go back to encouraging them to dream big.
Forgive me for not knowing who said it first, but one of my favorite sayings is, “Live like someone left the gate open.” As we start the summer I encourage you not only to leave the gate open for the young among us but also to get out there and run with them yourself. Spend less time teaching them how to be adults and more time learning how to be young.
It’s been said that growing up is a trap, but there are many things about the youthful mind that must indeed be shed to live a productive life. Perhaps the trick is not to think of it as young or old but rather as holding onto the best parts of us regardless of when they came into our lives.
The image on the cover of Palmetto Bella is of the famed Medusa Tree on the Greenville Health System Swamp Rabbit Trail in Greenville, South Carolina. My partner and I cover a little about the great city of Greenville in this month’s “Our Experiences” section.
