I Found Love at the Lizard’s Thicket

I had my first encounter with Thomas at the Francis Marion Hotel in Charleston when he introduced me as the newly crowned Miss Chaleston (he dropped the r). It was so perfectly Southern.

Knowing he judged pageants, I called him to ask if he would be interested in judging the Miss Charleston Pageant. I wanted to make a great impression so I acted queenly and mature. Here is how the conversation went:

“Hello,” I said.

“Hello,” Thomas said.

Then we had some small talk. “What have you been doing?” I asked.

Are you ready for this answer? This is exactly what he said: “Artificially inseminating my beef cattle.”

Now, I ask you, what would you say to that answer? Well, my brief encounter with maturity disappeared. I could not help myself. “Really?” I said with a laugh. “What do you do afterwards? Smoke a cigarette?” He did not laugh… at all.

Then came the “prayed for” and much anticipated evening when, as Miss South Carolina, I was seated by Thomas at the South Carolina Jaycee banquet. Sparks flew; love was in the air.

One week later, Thomas met me at the Columbia, South Carolina airport. It had been one whole week since we had met. I just knew he would woo me and take me, The Queen, out to a fabulous restaurant. With flickering candles and beautiful mood music, he would pop the question at a five-star restaurant. Wrong again. He took me out to eat at an “eat and five”, The Lizard’s Thicket. This is a family-style restaurant known for its KountryCookin’. In between the family-size bowls filled with sweet potatoes and collards, Thomas got romantic.

Later, I asked him what possessed him to pop the question at The Lizard’s Thicket? He jokingly said that during the meal he got a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach. He thought it was love but later realized it was the collard greens.

I knew Thomas was a fine man who farmed and had a lovely family, but that is all I knew. After enthusiastically agreeing to be his wife, I asked the most shocking question, “Where do you live?”

Thomas said what I consider to be worst place in South Carolina, “In-between.”

Thomas and I were married six months later, and I moved to a new town with two lights and with a grand population of 2,500. We lived in the Herlong pond house, a one thousand square foot concrete structure with only two rooms. It was situated on the edge of a pond and a cow pasture. It was not uncommon for me to be awakened by a three hundred pound heifer scratching her head on our house.

The little town of Johnston, South Carolina, was a big change for me. I have found that the local folks are fine people, and I have grown to love small town life. Today, not much has changed except Thomas now works with New York Life. Our town is so small that Thomas shares his office with Bland Funeral Home. I like to refer to the business as New York Life or Death.

Some of the South’s best treasures and biggest hearts are nestled in small towns—especially the places referred to as “in-between.”

Picture of Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Southern humorist, Sirius XM comedian, member of the Speaker Hall of Fame, and the best-selling author of four books. Jane travels the country sharing her sweet tea wisdom and Southern fried humor. For information on how to contact Jane for speaking engagements or to purchase her books, CD’s or MP3’s, visit www.janeherlong.com
Picture of Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Southern humorist, Sirius XM comedian, member of the Speaker Hall of Fame, and the best-selling author of four books. Jane travels the country sharing her sweet tea wisdom and Southern fried humor. For information on how to contact Jane for speaking engagements or to purchase her books, CD’s or MP3’s, visit www.janeherlong.com

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