So I Sang | The women and songs in the life of country singer Darius Rucker aka “Hootie”

Music is what feelings sound like. Unknown

His brothers never seemed to grow tired of tormenting him about his taste in music. Tired of hearing him defend himself, his mother came through the door in time to pick up where he left off. She scolded the siblings to leave him alone as she slumped into her chair — she was lucky no one was in it. With 18 people living in the three bedroom house at times, there was little space to claim as your own.

His mom looked tired from working extra hours as a nurse at Medical University of South Carolina. The boy knew they were far from rich, but his home was filled with traditions — church every Sunday, music, and resolute love. What was missing most of his life was his father’s presence.

Always in My Corner

Darius Rucker was born in Charleston, South Carolina on May 13, 1966. He sang along with his mother’s Al Green and Betty Wright albums and eventually crooned with Frank Sinatra and Buck Owens. His father was absent for long stretches of time, which left the children’s upbringing on his mother’s shoulders. They didn’t have any extras, but his mother provided her family with all they needed.

Darius set off for the University of South Carolina where he and his friends Dean Felber, Jim Sonefeld, and Mark Bryan formed their band Hootie and the Blowfish. Darius’ mother attended his gigs and concerts, and she dealt with the disappointment of his dropping out of college to pursue his music by saying, “I hope you go back, but you know, do what you gotta do.” With her words in his ears, Darius worked hard for the success of Hootie and the Blowfish. “All of my success comes because my mother was always in my corner.”

Darius didn’t ask about his father; he was resigned to having his presence the few times he’d pop in on the family. After not seeing him at all for 15 years, Darius was sitting at a table eating supper with band member Dean Felber before a Hootie concert in 1994 when he looked up to see his father slide a chair up to the table and ask, “Hey, how you doing?”

Darius introduced his father to Dean, who said,” I never thought I’d meet you.”

Darius’ mother Carolyn died of a heart attack in 1992. In his grief he composed two songs about his broken heart. I’m Goin Home begins like this:

Mama please don’t go
Won’t you stay here for one more day
I’ve been your boy for so long now
There’s so much I still have to say
Sky rips open, and I hold my heart in my hand
Like a soldier on his very last day
Cried myself to sleep that night, and I listened
As I heard the angels sing

And Not Even the Trees ends this way:

It makes me wonder as I sit and stare
Will I see your face again
Tell me, do you care I’m a stranger in my home
Living life on my own
Right now I just can’t see
‘Cause I’m feeling weak
And my soul begins to bleed

And no one is listening to me, not even the trees.

The Other Woman in his Life

Beth Leonard felt an attraction for the musician she met in New York while working in the entertainment industry. He was the lead in the band Hootie and the Blowfish, and it was obvious he was smitten with her. But she turned down his invitations for dates and Darius Rucker was frustrated. Things turned around for him when Beth called and asked him to go to a play with her. It was on that date Darius told her he was going to marry her.

That was two decades ago, but marriage hasn’t always been easy. “I work hard to let my wife know how much I love her,” Darius says. “I try to do that every day. It’s hard to be married to me, and it was a lot harder when I was younger.” At times he would be away for weeks only to come home for a few days then leave again.

Darius made the transition from Hootie to country music with his wife’s support. She was convinced that was where he belonged. As his career in country music launched, he was and remains intentional about remaining a good husband and father. When he’s home, he does domestic jobs like taking the kids to school and cooking meals. “Once I get off that airplane, I stop being a country star. I’m just Dad,” he says. Beth and Darius have two children together, Danielle and Jack. Darius also has a daughter, Carolyn Phillips, born in 1995. The Ruckers call Charleston home and spend time with friends Tiger Woods and Brad Paisley.

Singing Solo

While still performing as Hootie and the Blowfish, Darius completed his initial country solo album Learn to Live with its single Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It spiking to the top 20 on Billboard’s chart in 2008. He was the first African American to do so since Charlie Pride in 1988. Darius was invited to join the Grand Ole Opry and received a standing ovation for his performance there.

In 2009, Darius was the first ever African American artist to win the Country Music Association New Artist of the Year Award in 2009. He was the third black recording artist to win a Grammy, after Charlie Pride and the Pointer Sisters. In 2014, he won a Grammy for Best Country Solo Performance. Darius continues to win awards and climb the country charts as he writes music based on his personal journey through life.

A Generous Heart

Darius Rucker received the Harry Chapin Memorial Humanitarian Award in 2019 for a life of giving back to others. Through the Hootie and the Blowfish Foundation he and his band members have raised money for public education and for more than 200 charities that support junior golf programs in Charleston. This organization hosts Hootie’s Homegrown Roundup, which gives aid to economically depressed kids in the Charleston school district. Qualified children receive free eye and dental exams, haircuts, shoes, and a backpack stuffed with school supplies.

Darius has made contributions to various youth organizations in the Charleston area. He also helped raise funds for St. Jude’s Research Hospital.

Five Darius Rucker Facts

:: Darius sang at Tiger Wood’s wedding and at his father’s funeral.

:: He is a faithful South Carolina Gamecocks fan. He also likes the Cincinnati Reds and Miami Dolphins.

:: Darius appeared on the Pop Star edition of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

:: Burger King hired Darius to pose as a singing cowboy in a commercial to promote the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch Sandwich in 2005.

:: After he released the song Drowning, with lyrics that protested the Confederate flag flying above the South Carolina Statehouse, Darius received death threats.

Darius Rucker is a man who has broken through racial ceilings while remaining true to his roots and his family. In the end, it goes back to the profound love he had for his mother. It is evident in his songs that he still grieves her loss.

“She was always a rock and making sure that she took care of us and that we had things we needed to survive –
food and clothes and a home. Seeing that and seeing how hard she worked and all the things she did really made me the father that I am today. I’m so crazy and hands-on with my kids. I think it all comes from watching my mom have to struggle so much to support us. I don’t want my wife or me to ever have to struggle. I don’t want my kids to ever wonder where I am or where their mother is. I want them to always know where we are. They always will be taken care of. That all comes from my mom.” – Darius Rucker

No one believed in me as much as Mom
See, she worked overtime to buy my first guitar
When the angels called her home
My sister asked if I would speak
But there were no words to say how much she meant to me
So I sang.

Darius Rucker, from So I Sang

Picture of Phyllis Maclay

Phyllis Maclay

Phyllis Maclay is a published writer of articles in Country Woman Magazine, Parent Magazine, Easy Street Magazine, and Lancaster, Pennsylvania, newspapers. Originally from Pennsylvania, Phyllis moved to Aiken from South Texas. She has published children’s plays and her novel, A Bone for the Dog, a chilling story of a father trying to rescue his little girl, is available at Booklocker.com and through her FB page. Her story, Sweet Brew and a Cherry Cane, appears in the anthology Nights of Horseplay by the Aiken Scribblers.
Picture of Phyllis Maclay

Phyllis Maclay

Phyllis Maclay is a published writer of articles in Country Woman Magazine, Parent Magazine, Easy Street Magazine, and Lancaster, Pennsylvania, newspapers. Originally from Pennsylvania, Phyllis moved to Aiken from South Texas. She has published children’s plays and her novel, A Bone for the Dog, a chilling story of a father trying to rescue his little girl, is available at Booklocker.com and through her FB page. Her story, Sweet Brew and a Cherry Cane, appears in the anthology Nights of Horseplay by the Aiken Scribblers.

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