Happy New Year!
Now that Christmas is packed up for another year —
well, at least the decorations — we can focus on another time-honored tradition. New Year’s Resolutions.
For most, those resolutions don’t change from year to year. Eat and drink healthier, lose weight, save more money, spend less on dumb stuff, and (here’s the big one,) make more quality time for family and friends.
Typically, when the year is over, we discover we ate and drank the same, found whatever weight we may have lost, and spent what we should have saved on impulse stuff to help us improve our diet, lose weight, and help us keep our resolutions.
Hindsight on 2019
At the outset of 2019, joining a gym to whip this blob of protoplasm I call a body back into shape seemed like a good goal physically and worth the investment financially. Because of personal commitments, it made sense to join a gym to which I could have access at any time.
The commitment of money gave way to the unwillingness to commit the time actually to get there and do the workouts. A sure-fire sign the gym membership isn’t working was when they sent me a get well card. Still, the money is faithfully taken from my checkbook by the gym via “access Timm’s cash here” (ACH) withdrawal. I’m starting to think joining a wine-of-the-month club would’ve been a better investment.
Personal, real life experiences and countless studies (what is a study other than an accumulation of real life experiences captured by scholarly folks for mercenary purposes?) show why resolutions are, for most, nothing more than a reprise of a chorus sung 12 months earlier.
The mercenary study folks have come forth with their top reasons for falling short of meeting resolutions. Some of them I buy, others I would return for a refund.
1. “Going it alone.” I have a serious issue with this one. A few years back, 2011 to be precise, I tipped the scales at a portly 220 pounds. A lifetime of Central European eating (lots of carbs, starches, heavy gravy, fatty meats, cheese, beer, schnapps — and that was breakfast!) had taken its toll. After viewing myself naked in the mirror (at the time, the mirror was the only way I could see my feet,) it was clear a change was in order. Starting Thanksgiving of 2011 I decided the naval should point out and not down, and endeavored to change the terrain of my torso’s landscape. On the diet side, I cut out everything but meat, veggies, and scotch. I also began a self-imposed and self-crafted exercise routine. My thought process being, if I burn more calories than I put in, I should lose weight and again put my feet within the range of direct observation. By May 14, 2012, I was down to 165, which is what I weighed when I got my pilot’s license in 1996. I did it on my own, with God’s help.
If your goal is more important to you than maintaining the status quo, you will find a way to get it done — with or without other mortals.
2. “Extremely lofty goals.” Got an issue here, too. Breaking a lofty goal down into bite-sized, achievable pieces brings the goal within reach. I did NOT do that with item 1 above. I set the goal and had no clue what was a reasonable time period. Since I essentially planned and executed the project in a vacuum, I had nobody weighing in with his or her opinion of what was achievable and what wasn’t. Set a goal as big as you want, but understand the time and resources it will take to get it done.
3. “Giving up too easily.” Yup. Lived that dream, or better yet, woke up to that nightmare. The move to Florida was buttressed by the goal of becoming a scratch golfer. Once the lessons started, I certainly didn’t lose as many balls, but I did break a lot more clubs. Not being a craftsman, I took it out on my tools. I did so out of frustration as progress was not coming along quickly enough. Trying to retrieve a golf bag thrown into an alligator-infested pond comes with its own special set of risks. (Always remember to remove your car keys before pitching the bag into the water! It leaves the option open to quit the game completely and still drive home for dinner without dealing with grouchy, hungry reptiles.)
Yes, I did give up easily, but I did so willingly. I willingly decided that the additional burden of becoming a scratch golfer was not worth the time and expense of getting there. (Fear of success is a real barrier for some, but that’s for another time.) It’s okay, because I still love the game, keep my temper, and realize my chances of making the Senior Tour are at the bottom of a pond at Casselberry Country Club, carefully guarded by reptilian life forms.
By the way, the new clubs are really nice, and treated with respect. For me, the definition of scratch golfer is not someone who shoots par, but someone who scratches out his real score in the interest of maintaining personal sanity and feeling good about himself in the club house.
4. “Time management.” I buy this entirely. We are, mostly, procrastinators. We are professionals at it, which is why it’s called “pro-crastination.” If we were lousy at it, we’d call it “amateur-crastination.” It’s not only a matter of priorities; it’s a matter of urgency. If something is a priority, it should get done. If it’s important NOW, it adds urgency. Doing your taxes is a priority, it’s important. Doing your taxes on April 14th is important and urgent.
5. “Not believing in yourself.” This piece of info comes from a shrink in Beverly Hills. (Talk about a license to steal — a shrink in Beverly Hills?! Commentary on that is for another time.) There is some validity to the point. You have to see yourself in a mode of achievement, not failure. The same is true of each of us. Use the mistakes and failures of the past as stepping-stones to your future achievement.
Happy 2020 — Foresight
Hindsight is, indeed, 2020. I’m certain we could sit down together and share stories of “would-a could-a should-a,” but, please — It’s time for a paradigm shift.
Let 2020 be your year of foresight. Foresight is now 2020. Closing thoughts:
Commit
- Commit to goals that are important to you, and
- Commit to those important to you, and, as
St. Paul said, give thanks every day for them.
Plan
- Goals are words, steps are actions. Take the time to plan your steps, not just your goals.
- Put those steps into daily, defined actions and do them daily, starting with prayer.
Commit
- Make what you want as important to you as what the government wants from you.
- Honor your deadlines for your goals as you do the IRS deadlines for your taxes.
- Make your stuff a priority every day.
- As George Carlin said, your stuff is stuff, everyone else’s stuff is #$#$$%%% (not worth your time and energy).
Believe
- Believe in yourself.
- Believe in those who believe in you.
Right now, I believe.
I believe I’ll have the Cabernet.
Cordially and with many blessings for a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
And endless thanks to those who believe in me — you know who you are!
Reasons for not keeping resolutions from: “Top 10 Reasons You Don’t Stick to Your Resolutions And how to keep it from happening this year.” By Jené Luciani
