The Breast/Best Pearls | Excerpt from Bury Me with My Pearls, Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas

Jane Jenkins Herlong

September 13, 2019

Author’s note: October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month so I thought I would share a funny story told to me at one of my speaking engagements. This one is a keeper!

Speaking to a group of ladies, I shared a story about my sister who had a bout with breast cancer. I emphasized how a positive attitude can help as we face difficulties.

After the meeting ended, an older woman approached me who obviously had a story to share. That happens lots of times to speakers. Many times you just tolerate the tale. Then there are those rare times when the story or joke is unbelievably hilarious. This is one of those times.

“I got me a friend who had both her breasts removed,” said this friendly woman. “The doctor said she was a candidate for one of them special reconstruction operations. Well, she asked me go to the doctor and help listen ‘cause her husband is the kind that don’t get it. You know what it’s like—the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

“Anyhow, I was setting in the office with my friend and her husband when the doctor said, ‘What I’m gonna do is cut yo’ abdomen and pull it up to make you new breasts.
Y’all understand?’”

“Well,” the woman continued, “that husband of hers was so confused. The doctor looked right square in his face and said, ‘Let me explain it like this. We gonna take yo’ wife’s stomach and pull it up and make new breasts.

Y’all got any questions?’”

“‘Sho nuff,’ her husband said, ‘Yes Sir, I do. If she goes to gettin’ hungry, are them things gonna growl?’”

She said that doctor kept his composure until he left the room; then he let out a laugh that echoed throughout the office.

“Yes,” said my new friend, “we all needed a good laugh.”

By Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Southern humorist, Sirius XM comedian, member of the Speaker Hall of Fame, and the best-selling author of four books.

Jane travels the country sharing her sweet tea wisdom and Southern fried humor.

For information on how to contact Jane for speaking engagements or to purchase her books, CD’s or MP3’s, visit www.janeherlong.com

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Jane Jenkins Herlong

Jane Jenkins Herlong is a Southern humorist, Sirius XM comedian, member of the Speaker Hall of Fame, and the best-selling author of four books. Jane travels the country sharing her sweet tea wisdom and Southern fried humor. For information on how to contact Jane for speaking engagements or to purchase her books, CD’s or MP3’s, visit www.janeherlong.com

Jane Jenkins Herlong

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